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Gaga did good…

Outside of picture-perfect weather and a truly beautiful performance of our National Anthem by Lady Gaga, little about the Super Bowl was amazing.

Unless you’re a fan of crushing defense (which is something), everything about the game was… okay. It was a sloppy, penalty-ridden affair, periodically fun to watch and technically competitive. The score was close. Both defenses were good. Denver’s was outstanding. Peyton Manning “The Sheriff” got to ride off into the sunset with a Super Bowl win. He’d be insane to come back. But staying home and making hokey commercials could easily drive him back onto the field. I don’t care one way or the other. Do you? Sometimes nice guys don’t finish last.

So that was the football. What about the rest of it i.e. the commercials and the halftime show? Again, the word “okay.” Coldplay, Beyonce and Bruno Mars were slick, watchable and, frankly, forgettable. Folks in the Bay Area grumbled that it should have been local artists, Metallica that did the show. According to reviews, the band killed it “The Night Before” at AT&T park. This would have to suffice as the only controversy surrounding the halftime show. Given the NFL’s tumultuous year (concussions, deflated footballs, domestic violence), I’m sure they were delighted by an “okay” show.

The advertising had no outstanding entries, excellent or terrible. Lots of celebrities and talking animals. Again. The “Wiener Dog” commercial for Heinz was cute. An Audi spot had the added gravitas of featuring David Bowie in its soundtrack. Jeep gave us a nifty hashtag with #4x4ever delivered on the back of a rambling anthem for their vehicles. Doritos iconic triangles were sky-written across San Francisco’s azure skies. Clever. There was a dancing monkey-human baby. Whatever.


Not just dogs – wiener dogs!

Honestly, I was somewhat bummed there were no truly awful commercials, though the preponderance of bizarre medicine spots grated. I mean a stomach puppet? Honorable mention for sucky goes to the specious argument put forward by Scientology –something about it being the intersection of spirituality and technology. Scientology is neither. Still, the commercial came and went. Hating on it more would be like beating a dead horse.

All in all, the SuperBowl was damn okay.

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Crazy good…

For the past few days, even longer, I have been working on a manifesto for one of our clients. Actually, I’ve been working on two. Even more actually, I’ve been working on manifestos for 25 years, since becoming a copywriter.

Nothing suits me more. For like many a creative soul, I am by nature a show off. And this is the way I can do it. I know I am not alone. Most copywriters get off on writing manifestos. At least they’d better. Writing such documents is at the heart of what we do, and can do, for our clients.

Most of you know what I’m talking about. For those unawares, a manifesto or mantra or anthem is the bringing to life in words the highest and most noble aspirations of its subject matter, aka the brand.

Yes, it is advertising copy but in the best sense of the word. Recall Apple’s great script to the modern world: Think Different. Consider the lines that first and forever defined Nike to a generation: Just Do It. We know these iconic tags because we fell in love with the manifestos. Frankly, neither line would have lasted this long, or even gotten out the door, if not for their beloved manifestos.

The power and glory of a brilliant manifesto cannot be overstated. They raise the hairs on the back of your neck. They make CMO’s smile. They win pitches. Most of all they change things: attitudes, behaviors, even lives.

At least the good ones do.

Alas, we’ve all heard or, God forbid, written our share of shitty ones. They can be purple or redundant or both. They get long pretty damn fast. They turn into cheesy rip-o-matics. Yet, in a weird way, even the bad ones sound pretty good. They are like pizza that way.

Why?

Because we slave over them. Into these haloed paragraphs we put everything we know or think we know about writing, about persuading, about life. Here you won’t find speeds and feeds, racks and stacks or friends and family. None of that. These are the best neighborhoods in Adland. No trespassing!

Author’s note: Because I have been busy writing a manifesto I had to refurbish this blog entry from a previous post.

So, after all these years, Barbie is finally making her foray into the real world. A new commercial from Mattel heralds the diverse line-up of figures, featuring a curvier doll, a petit doll, and others, none as Stepford-like as the leggy, thin blonde who has represented the brand for decades.

For obvious reasons, this is a good thing. And the film does a nice job of introducing the concept. The spot has a more serious tone than what we see in most toy commercials, with softer music and adult language. Yes, young girls are shown playing with dolls, in a light airy setting, which is typical. But the children deliver lines that are far more socially aware. “It’s important for Barbies to look different,” a child says, opening the spot. Later, one states she likes her Barbie because it reminds her of her mom. I respect that the children are not mere shills. A huge improvement.

What’s even more unusual is that the film is intercut with shots of Mattel designers talking about their vision for these new dolls. Now girls have dolls “they can relate to,” says one. We see these designers making the dolls as well, spinning their hair and sewing their outfits. That’s radical. I can’t think of a toymaker ever showing its toys getting made. In the past, dolls were always seen imitating human behavior. Showing them being built defies that illusion.

But so what? I think children comprehend dolls are manufactured and can appreciate the craftsmanship that goes into it. Granted, a hip designer creating a prototype probably looks nothing like the factory workers who really do make these Barbies but that’s another story.

Before writing further, I have to commend Mattell and its ad agency, BBDO San Francisco for not only evolving Barbie into the 21st century but for making a commercial with a degree of gravitas. Both things are remarkable and deserve praise.

That said, I still wonder about the oldest stigma regarding Barbie and dolls in general: that they are only for girls. As with Disney’s Princesses, I think there’s something forced about steering girls into passive feminine roles. I have three daughters and lived through it. I always cringed when they obsessed over dollies. It’s all so weirdly Victorian. We boys grew up with Star Wars figures and G I Joe. Men of action, power and violence. Then video games. Science, technology and war. Not that that’s a good thing but it completely reinforces that it’s a man’s world.  Even though it’s understandable, there are no boys and only 3 seconds of one man in this commercial. Maybe in the next campaign they can find a way to be less “girlie.” Likewise, where is Ken? Will he be gaining weight and going bald? Or will they take him another direction a la Bruce Jenner?

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Bruce Lee. Nobody did it better…

Growing up in the Lake View neighborhood of Chicago, there was a grindhouse on Clark street called the Parkway Cinema. It showed nothing but Z-grade movies, usually three at a time, for a couple bucks. Go in at noon and stumble out at 7PM. Ingest gobs of bad popcorn, horror and Kung Fu. And, God willing, a smattering of naked ladies. Heaven for a 15-year old boy.

My fascination with horror began here but martial arts flicks also have a place in my heart. Obviously Bruce Lee was the penultimate star of this genre. Yet, he made only a few movies before his untimely and controversial death. Jackie Chan appeared in a great many more. Seeing him, super young, lithe and kicking ass, was sweet. Mostly, however, you got knock-offs like Bruce Le and Bruce Li. Nobody was fooled but for two dollars who cared? A flying kick is a flying kick.

Kung Fu movies were a catharsis. Same as “Death Wish” or “Dirty Harry.” But in almost every martial arts movie you never, ever saw a gun.  Every slight, every indignity and humiliation, is met with fists, feet and the occasional “silver spear of death.”

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A broom, a kitchen knife and a big bamboo!

Stranger walks into a bar and forgets to bow to the local don. Massive brawl. Drifter asks for directions. Massive brawl. The best was when the star pupil or “dragon” saves (or more likely avenges) the village idiot, blind child or helpless waitress unfairly brutalized by local thugs. One after another, in a predictable pecking order, the bad guys are dispatched until only the most skilled and evil perpetrator is left standing. Cue the dramatic 70’s era horns. Snap zoom to the eyes. Begin the bloody, fantastic finale. Like Rocky, the hero nearly dies from punishment before inflicting the Iron Fist or some other unique technique that Master had taught him for just such an occasion.

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Now that’s a headline…

Despite (or because of) terrible acting, ridiculously dubbed voices and myriad directorial issues, these pictures are freaking awesome. They hit a primordial nerve. They got the right part right. Evil is obvious. It does bad things. Good is noble and righteous. It also does bad things. Very bad things. Can you say “Iron Fist?”

As a kid, the ceaseless torments I had endured in the schoolyards the previous week would suddenly evaporate in the red mist of a dragon defending my honor.

I’m a father now. A husband. I’m a worker among workers. But I still get off on that fantasy. To protect, avenge and fight like a dragon.

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“It’s sacrelicious!”

When I first saw the headline in AdAge, I joked on Facebook that it read like something culled from The Onion or even The Simpson’s: “In major strategic shift, Coke replaces ‘Open Happiness’ with ‘Taste the Feeling.'”  Quite a few people got the joke, among them some fairly heavy breathers from Adland. All of them, like me, were incredulous.

Where to begin? How could a “major strategic shift” result in something as banal as “Taste the Feeling?” Not that “Open Happiness” was any great shakes but “Taste the Feeling.” That’s not a tagline. And certainly not one for the most famous brand in the world.

Many believe the Coca-Cola Company invented modern advertising. We grew up with this icon. As did our parents. And theirs. Coke advertising is so famous that it was featured in the last episode ever of Mad Men. “I’d like to buy the world a Coke” is an unforgettable part of advertising lore, as famous as Apple’s “1984.” Moreover, Coke symbolizes optimism and connectivity like no other brand on earth.

Don’t get me wrong. Coke has had dumbass slogans before. “Coke is it,” anyone? But at least they aimed high. Or for the heart: “Have a Coke and a Smile.” Even lame, Coke advertising always had swagger.

“Taste the Feeling.” Not so much.

Remember when we used to see fake advertising in TV shows – pictures of bottles and pretty girls? That’s where this parody belongs. “Tastes Great! You’ll love it!” I say “used to” because TV has improved over the years. Most quality shows would demand something more real than “Taste the Feeling.”

I’ve heard that taglines don’t matter anymore. It’s all about the content. So, let’s look at the anthem for “Taste the Feeling” (linked in the AdAge article). Perhaps it rises above those sad little words at the end? It does if you’re into 80’s vignettes of Mentos-like Millennials. In one, a hunky Latino falls into a trough of ice water? #WTF


Taste the feeling…of Mentos!

The article quotes the new Coke CMO, Marcos de Quinto as saying Coke had gotten too preachy. His Global VP-Marketing, Rodolfo Echeverria added that ‘Coke no longer wanted to be about “high level” ideas.’

Mission accomplished, fellas.

In my opinion, Coke has to be about big ideas. Sure, little moments in life may be where Coke lives but its marketing must portray them in a concept worthy of the brand. AdAge claims it took ten agencies almost a year to come up with this new campaign. That’s stunning and sad. Yet, I’m willing to bet each one of these agencies had countless better ideas that were rejected by Marcos and his lot. As cynical as I am I know we are better than this. I pray anyway.

To play my own devil’s advocate, I must add I loathed McDonald’s new tagline “I’m Lovin’ It” when it first came out. Still do. Yet, they’ve been riding that mule for over a decade. On that note, happy writing!

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