Naked men tortured in gym by dancing lesbian!

May 13, 2009

Excuse me, Ellen but this is the men’s locker room.

There’s a health club in the basement of our agency, of which I am a thankful member. It’s super convenient, inexpensive no-frills place to work the bagels out of your butt and the office politics from your head.

Lately, my favorite time to work out has been around 3 PM, after the lunch crowd is gone. That way I get back to the office at 4PM, feeling revitalized and inspired. It’s kind of like creating a second 10AM vibe toward the end of the day.

Here’s the problem. In the men’s locker room the TVs are always playing soap operas and female oriented talk shows. Loudly. Annoying by any measure but in a men’s locker room? Needless to say, the sets are mounted too high to turn off.

Come 3 o’clock it’s the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Nothing says good workout like a middle-aged lesbian dancing to pop music. Back in the day I liked Ellen. I thought her sitcom with Jeremy Piven was better than most. I even applauded her coming out. But this talk show thing? In terms of vest-wearing lesbian star-schmoozers wasn’t Rosie enough? Why do the women in her audience shriek so much and for so long? It’s a talk show, for Christ’s sake. A few jokes. A few guests. The turbo-charged laugh track to Icarli (I have three daughters don’t get me started.) is less painful.

Folks, I’ve witnessed naked men throwing jocks at Ellen during her trademarked opening dance.

Apparently the TVs in the men’s locker room are connected to the women’s so we watch what they watch, like it or not. For whatever reason, regardless of complaints (and thrown underwear), the girlie programming wins out every effen day.

Unfair and annoying but that is my reality. Ellen has watched me undress for over a year.

Relevance here? A vague lesson is bad targeting. But mostly it’s an opportunity for me to vent. OMG! Venting? I’m turning into a bored mom.


5 Responses to “Naked men tortured in gym by dancing lesbian!”

  1. Sarah said

    This made me laugh, thanks.

    How did you write tomorrow’s blog (13th) today (12th)?

  2. SRP said

    Well, Sarah, WordPress turns its calendar over well before midnight. Not sure why. Thanks for your readership. I’m glad dancing lesbian brought smiles!

  3. Ann said

    Steffan, I TOTALLY feel your pain. For me, Ellen and Bonnie Hunt are the least bad of the offerings downstairs. Crunch introduced me to Rock of Love, and I think my deep and abiding self-respect will never quite be the same again. Soap operas, please. It’s all so bad, it requires the loudest iPod setting ever just to get through it all. Thank goodness we have bike paths and it’s warm outside again. No more Crunch for me until late fall. I’ve no idea why they think their clientele is utterly stupid.

  4. justin said


    I’d take Ellen over the ladies of The View (daily fodder at the Comm Dept office) any day.

    Barbara Walters and Joy Behar? Gives new meaning to worries about shrinkage.

  5. adchick said

    This kind of programming is on during a normal workday for a reason! Rock of Love? A lower IQ audience for sure…possibly lower would be Girls Next Door. Judge Judy? I could go on…ugh!

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