While the Gods of Advertising have been unkind this year, take solace. This year is almost over.
December 29, 2008
From here…
to serenity
The day after Christmas I took our tree down and put Santa and his elves back in their boxes and into the attic. I moved the children’s Easter baskets forward so, come spring, it will be easier to pull them out. For my grimacing, the skeletons and jack-o-lanterns up there mocked me with gruesome painted-on smiles. My bad back, getting worse every year. Nobody ever talks about all the stooping and lifting the holidays require!
Then we bolted to Palm Springs, where my father has a house. You can have Chicago and the rest of December. I’ve come to loathe it. When we left over a foot of snow was melting into what CNN considered worthy of flood warnings. A freeze was expected in a day or two, then below zero. Again. And it’s not even January! No, like I said, you take this for a while. I am out of here.
So, Palm Springs. Clear, brisk and sunny. Lots of old people acting gay: tanned, casual and loose. Lots of gay people acting old: tanned, casual and reserved. Palm Springs is a great equalizer of people. Gated communities bring out sameness. Though many don’t play, it looks like the entire population enjoys golf. You can see the mountains from everywhere. There is a Lexus SUV in every driveway. (Except my father’s. He, of course, owns an Acura.) Minor cynicism aside, PS is a hell of a lot better than where we left.
My prayer from Palm Springs
Having soured in August, I know 2008 is going down like spoilt milk. But the ad industry is by no means the worst off. Frankly, this recession is taking down more clients than ad agencies. Are we next? We’ll see. Right now I count my many blessings. Good family. Health. A sunny place to go in winter.
And, saints be praised, I work at an agency that is prospering. Euro RSCG Chicago had double-digit growth in 2008. We made fine work for our clients, some of it even spectacular. We are hiring people not firing them. We even had a holiday party.
There are several reasons for our good fortune. Going into them here seems inappropriate, like gloating. Instead, I’d like to offer a sort of prayer.
However improbable, I hope everyone reading this can count their blessings as well. If you’ve escaped the many sharp teeth of this financial crisis, and even if you haven’t, stay strong. It will get better. It always does. I know this the same way I know that Chicago’s winter will eventually yield to summer. Sadly, eventually can be a very, very long time.
If the gods of advertising are unkind to you it is because forces of commerce and human nature bewilder them. Not any one person’s fault but in many ways all our faults. Hopefully, you believe in a God less vulnerable. He or She will surely restore us to sanity, sooner or later. Right now God is teaching us about humility. Let’s hope we get the message without much more misery.
Chicago Tribune writer, Barbara Mahany wrote a guest column recently about taking the time to appreciate the stillness and quietude of the season. Amidst the cacophony of December, she writes we have to “look for the stillness.” If and when we find it, she concludes, “the sacred comes.”
Normally, this is just the sort of smarmy holiday reflection that makes me wince or, more accurately, turn the page. There are box scores to get to. And besides, I need to know the latest buffoonish gesture our shameful Governor is perpetrating.
Yet, Mahany’s article gives pause. December is a loud month. Between our sugar high children and the endless blaring from always-on TV sets, when is there ever a moment of silence? Since when has “peace on earth and goodwill to men” become so damn loud? Even the colors scream: Red! Green! Silver! Gold!
Without doubt, our melodious industry is the most heinous culprit of all. Every commercial on radio and TV seems brasher and busier, turning beloved Christmas carols (the other mariachi music) into countless terrible jingles about saving money and the like. The assault on our senses make this fall’s “Saved by Zero” seem like birdsong.
The seasonal assault begins so early by mid-December we are sick of it. I am anyway. Maybe if holiday advertising came during the 12 days of Christmas we’d welcome it…more so anyway. Instead we are still eating Halloween candy when the ringing of “jingle” bells begins. It is usually the local advertisers who come first, their desperate pleas for having clean carpets in time for the holidays. Hollywood begins trumpeting their holiday fare for adults and children alike. I knew about “Four Christmases” before I had my one Thanksgiving. By December we are being bludgeoned by flat screen TVs and digital cameras, all specially priced for Christmas. All together, the noise is like a china cabinet tipping over…endlessly.
And so I appreciate this plea for stillness. And I know just where to find it. When I take our dog out for his last walk before bed there is peace and quiet: The snowed over lawns and deserted streets. The silent sentry of barren trees. This is the proverbial silent night, holy night. The effect is mesmerizing, a perfect and ironic antidote to the commercial chaos of Christmas. Here I can smoke my cheap cigar in peace, waiting for Bo to do his business.
Yes, Verizon, there really is a Santa Claus. And, miracle of miracles, he brought us a phone that does everything!
December 22, 2008
There’s always one commercial that defines holiday advertising overkill. For me, the honor goes to the above ditty from Verizon. By virtue of the spot’s ubiquity and intrusiveness, it has become part of the gaudy commercialization of Christmas. Mine anyway. Like Salvation Army Santa, the commercial is everywhere, clanging away, driving me crazy. It’s not that it’s a terrible advertisement, like, for instance, Toyota’s infamous “Saved by Zero.”
“Saved by Zero” is in a league by itself, almost certainly the worst National ad campaign of 2008.
To be fair, the Verizon spot does a decent job of conveying its message; in this case, a phone that does myriad things backed by a big, reliable network.
However tired as that message is, this particular spot delivers it well enough. A man keeps unwrapping the same gift (a phone), revealing it to be a GPS, MP3 and so on. The final attribute is the Verizon Network “backing him up.” What irks me are the characters in the commercial, first and foremost the bespectacled jerk off, who, for some reason, has become the company’s mascot. “Can you hear me now?” Yes. Now please shut up. Seriously, does anyone in America relate to this guy? Like Subway’s Jared, he has become the face for the brand. Unlike Jared, he did nothing whatever to earn it. In this commercial he is merely a supporting actor, appearing at the end, a bug.
However, it’s the spot’s principal that makes and breaks this commercial. The husband character is the personification of irritating. Not an ass, he’s just cloying. I can’t explain it. His hair. His wardrobe. His acting. Does this man (and, in turn, Verizon) really think a phone that downloads music is that damn amazing? Does anyone? In the end, his over-joyousness at getting a PDA makes me twitch.
Other runners-up for this dubious Xmas honor can be found amidst the battling jewelry campaigns for Jareds, Kay Jewelers and Zales. In the end, the spot featuring a deaf girl and her boyfriend grates most. Congratulations Kay Jewelers, you’re my runner up for most annoying commercial of the year!
The agency Christmas party. Camaraderie without strings or the last bastion of inappropriate behavior?
December 19, 2008
I’ll answer my own question. It’s both. And, in my opinion, both are desirable phenomenon. I’ve likened working in an agency to being in a submarine. After a year of attacking new business, discovering ideas and evading torpedoes it’s time to come up for air! Especially this year. With such choppy seas, we could all use the break. The fact that our agency did so well is a major blessing and should rightly be shared by all who earned it.
For ours, we’re planning a company meeting followed by an employee dance contest later at a nightclub. Of course, the usual speeches will be made beforehand and employee prizes given out. If all goes well, by 8PM everyone will be in some form of “state” and the true fun can begin.
Growing up at Leo Burnett, as I did, I got to participate in some of the biggest holiday-themed parties known in our industry. Forever, The Leo Burnett “Breakfast” was both famous and infamous. During flush years, the company could easily drop hundreds of thousands on the event. First would come the morning meeting and breakfast, usually someplace iconic to Chicago, like the Chicago Theatre or Medinah Temple. During this time, speeches were given, and some fairly unbelievable skits were either put on live or shown via film. These productions were eagerly anticipated and, subsequently, a great deal of time and money went into making them. Some years they were far superior to a majority of commercials on the agency reel.
After “breakfast” everyone would traipse, en masse back to the office to exchange gifts, doll up for later and receive their typically ample bonus checks. The last point here is a big one. Without giving names or numbers, I will tell you it was commonplace for LBCO stars, and plenty were deemed fit, to get more money on this day than in a whole year.
After getting bonuses, all the employees would head out to their specific group’s party, eventually convening in one or two massive clusters, which could get pretty gnarly. Here the newly rich and totally drunk began the timeless tradition of hopelessly inappropriate behavior. Trust me, I know of what I speak. This was when all the “I love you, man” speeches got made, where unrequited office romances requited, often in heated and embarrassing ways. Bosses. Secretaries. Married. Single. And so on. For better and worse the LBCO office party (and I imagine many others) was the last bastion of “Mad Men” like behavior.
What a company! And surely it was. But remember, back then my beloved Leo Burnett was private and most years were good ones. That is not the case right now and has not been for years. Still, I’m guessing the Burnett Breakfast will have its allure.
And for us? We’ve had a good year, thank God. I’m looking forward to our party. As Chairman and Chief Creative Officer, I’m actually a host. I get to show some work, talk about it. And because I really want people to hate me, I’m reading a salty holiday poem as well: “T’was the night before our Christmas party and all through Euro RS, not a creative was stirring, unless in front of Ron Bess.” You see where that’s going.
Originality is not mandatory at the office Christmas party. Frankly, one could make the argument that originality is not required for Christmas at all. Quite the contrary. Holiday is about tradition.
From the ubiquitous cookie tins in every cube to the drunken media planner making out with Seth from IT, I want everything to stay the same, year after year. Frankly, I look forward to it!
Creative awards are good for something. Mine are now props in a new TV show about advertising!
December 17, 2008
Monday, January 26th, TNT is premiering a new TV show created by one of my best friends, John Coveny. It’s called “Trust Me.” Yes, it’s a drama about an ad agency. But don’t jump to conclusions. Mad Men it isn’t. First of all, this story takes place in the modern era. That means no smoking. And the misogyny had to be hidden a lot more. For more on the show click the attached link or read my post from April 2nd.
“Trust Me” depicts creative director (Eric McCormack) and his work partner (Tom Cavanagh) battling suits, dealing with significant others, chasing awards and otherwise trying to keep it real while getting ahead in Advertising. I’ve seen the rough cut. It’s pretty damn good.
The show’s creators, John Coveny and Hunt Baldwin both worked with me at Leo Burnett in Chicago. That experience served as impetus for “Trust Me” and references to both city and agency are evident.
And if you pay attention you’ll also find evidence of me! During production I was asked to contribute boxes of advertising awards and other agency paraphernalia. Look closely at the screen grabs pulled from TNT’s website. On the female employee’s desk is a Clio award. Mine.
Even more intriguing we were able to get some of my agency’s clients onto the show. A big deal, more will be made of it later –trust me. But take a look over Eric McCormack’s right shoulder in the two-shot. Those are comps of actual print executions for Effen Vodka. Elsewhere in the fictional agency are Effen posters as well as material from two other clients, Potbelly and O&I Shoes. I’m told the actors even speak about Effen in a scene. Fun stuff, eh? I know I’m pumped.
John Coveny provided a quote on the jacket of my latest novel, The Happy Soul Industry. He said he couldn’t wait to write the screenplay. Based on his success, neither can I!
Ironically, with all the drama surrounding Chicago’s beleaguered advertising community, I wonder if fiction can be stranger than the truth? Not too much longer until we find out.
Penney’s catalog from 1977 reveals fashions as bodacious as Rod Blagojevich’s hair.
December 16, 2008
I know this item has been making the rounds but a cheerful ditty seems like a welcome respite from corruption and recession.
My good friend, Mike Coffin, who is founder and Chief Creative Officer of Yield in Austin Texas, sent me a file containing pages from the 1977 JC Penney catalogue, and folks, they are priceless. According to the equally amusing commentary, the old book was found while doing home repairs. Stuck behind the eaves as it were.
The finder’s take on these incredibly fashion backward photographs is pure gold. One caption reads: “Here’s how to get your ass kicked in high school.” I urge you to Google ‘JC Penney 1977’ and view the entire PDF. (For technical reasons -or my own ignorance- I couldn’t load the whole doc here.) Incidentally, if anyone knows where this document originated, and who the inspired commentator is, please let us know.
As an aside, yours truly appeared in a Sears print ad waaaaay back in the day. My father worked on the account for now-defunct Stern Walters and Simmons advertising agency, and there, he’d finagled my brother and I into the shoot. I believe we were modeling the “Geranimals” collection. I’m not kidding. If I can locate this Postaer flotsam, I will post it forthwith.
Meantime, enjoy a few outtakes from Penney’s. Perhaps it’s just the inspiration for your Christmas shopping.
Love or hate their work. It’s all good for Crispin Porter & Bogusky.
December 12, 2008
No other agency in recent memory has gotten more publicity good, bad or otherwise than Crispin Porter & Bogusky. For about a decade they’ve been changing the game for the rest of us. Their early work on “truth” was groundbreaking and devastating. Subservient Chicken is almost like a God. Frankly, since hitting their stride, CP&B hasn’t really faltered –not if you define success by their criteria.
What, you say? Hasn’t really faltered! Their Burger King is a creepy monster. Those VW crash spots made me cringe. And Whopper Virgins are an insult to society. All of that is arguably true. But it is also why CP&B is so successful. Their mission (to make their clients famous) has been accomplished. And it has been accomplished in spades. Even this blog is a support point for them as an agency. Haters are just more clicks. More proof of an idea’s power.
Crispin looks for work that will create buzz, urgency, relevance and drama. They are willing to tip over bunches of sacred cows to get it. And, for better or worse, most of the rest of us are not. Myself included.
In my last post I called Whopper Virgins ingenious. I also wondered if it was the right thing to do. I still wonder. And yet, either way, CP&B is smiling. The more I wonder the more buzz they are getting. If 1,000 people read this post and then three other bloggers write about it and in turn their readers comment….You see where I’m going, where it’s going. Crispin has delivered thousands of impressions for its client. And they are the most relevant and radioactive impressions in the market place: young, urban & digital. But I said “arguably” because none of this might sell any hamburgers.
In many respects, so what? That is not the promise CP&B made to BK, or, I’m guessing to any of its clients. I’m speculating (based on their creds and communications), the agency only spoke about making BK relevant and cooler to certain populations and that the rest would take care of itself.
Do I agree with this philosophy? Not always. But I am impressed by it…and the agency. They are maddeningly consistent. They always delight or piss everyone off. One of the two. Sometimes both. They are seldom, if ever, middle-of-the-road.
And here’s another great, big point. Considering all the criticism and praise, have you ever noticed it’s always about the work and never about the agency? I happen to know CP&B is a sweatshop. People are paid less and expected to work more. But you never read about that. Draft FCB is in the press a lot. But for them, sadly, the criticism is mostly about the agency and rarely the work. Big difference.
People who know me know I would never kiss anyone’s ass, especially a competitor. And I’m not doing so here. CP&B is playing with fire. Clients can and will get burned by them. I also would add, unlike a LOT of creative directors, I do not think it’s important to try and “be” Crispin. I’d rather try and “beat” Crispin. Big difference there, too.
My Blago blog. Why you can’t say Illinois without getting ill.
December 11, 2008
“wanna buy a watch…a senate seat?”
Alas, the only racket more consistently maligned than advertising (politics) has achieved a new low. And I mean low. As anyone taking air must know, our honorable Governor, Rod Blagojevich has been indicted on more counts than in a Transylvanian phone book. According to the Feds, he tried to sell the vacated Senatorial seat of Barack Obama to the highest bidder. He shook down the editorial department of the Chicago Tribune. And though not illegal, he referred to our new President-elect, on tape, as a mother——. This is arrogance and ignorance at unheard of levels –even by corrupt Illinois standards. (FYI, our last Governor, George Ryan is currently in jail for corruption charges that lead to human deaths.) Sigh.
I never liked Blagojevich. From his abusive style and undeserved cocksureness to his dumb football coach haircut, I thought the guy was an ass clown. And now there’s proof, tons of it, and the most heinous recorded on tape. Even Rod’s wife can be heard bellowing crudely about something-or-other, I think the Chicago Cubs sale. “F— the Cubs!” she hollers from the kitchen.
Yikes. The whole mess is the talk of the town. It probably has hurt Chicago’s chances for securing the Olympics. And I believe it hurts the President-elect as well. God forbid he’s involved. And while I doubt he is culpable the taint is there. It’ll be like dog crap on Obama’s shoe. Everywhere he goes there will be that foul odor. The stink of Rod. Conservatives will point it out at every turn.
Has advertising ever perpetrated such crimes upon an innocent population? Do I even need to ask? The billions of dollars spent composing myths for the tobacco industry are a prime example. The catch, I suppose, is that for years the public was aware of the harmful nature of cigarettes. In theory, we could make an informed decision on whether to light up. We knew the truth. But still, was (and is) it right?
Less than 100 years ago advertising was pretty much a forum for lying. Magic potions (some containing poisons) were regularly hocked through the mass media.
Today we are more sophisticated consumers. And for the gullible, we have numerous laws protecting them. Watch dogs hound our industry, making sure we don’t tell lies to make a sale.
And yet, like dog crap, the taint follows us around, it’s potential for harm lurking in every brief. Smart copywriters learn how to navigate the rulebook composing myths on behalf of countless brands, some woefully undeserving, some not. Are ignorant tribesmen from third world countries fairly suited to selling us hamburgers? They are in Crispin Porter’s ingenious “Whopper Virgins” campaign. I ask again: Is it right?
whopper virgins or merely duped?
By law, the Governor has the right to choose a new Senator. Intuitively, he elected to find one who came with money attached. He broke the law by degrees, not seeing the white lines, until he no longer knew right from wrong. They say absolute power corrupts absolutely. In Rod’s case it did just that.
What about in all our cases, or case studies if you will? Are we culpable for selling cigarettes to the Chinese or liquor to the poor? Are we exploiting “virgins” to sell whoppers? Are we telling whoppers every time we attack a new brief?
I ask because sometimes I wonder. Remember, I do this for a living and love it. But I also recognize the awesome power in mythmaking and I’m pretty sure it corrupts, just hopefully not absolutely.
No offense Beyonce but your DirecTV spot has managed to make even you hard to look at. Yes, you’re smoking hot. Yes, you’re talented. Yes, you’re a big time celebrity. But with the “Upgrade U” commercial, you’re flirting with becoming almost as reviled as Toyota’s “Saved by Zero.” Ouch.
Is it the jingle? Not being a fan (sorry, babe), I didn’t even know “Upgrade U” was a song from your catalog. The MTV-like credits superimposed at the commercial’s front implied as much. Either way, it’s annoying. Besides, wasn’t “Upgrade U” a DirecTV campaign last year? Enough already.
But the most troubling aspect of this spot is its fetish with gold and glitz. There’s more bling in this commercial than in the Scarface Special Edition DVD. Mired in a recession as we are, is it really appropriate for you, a rich celebrity, to be rolling around on a pile of gold jewelry? Is getting a better deal on cable really all that?
Yet, the reason I’m questioning this spot so much is because I’ve got a hunch it’s been hugely successful. Why else would DirecTV be rerunning it… and so much? Assuming the Beyonce campaign is delivering customers for its client, we are left with the highly subjective matter of opinion. Do people like this commercial? Does the agency. Do the clients?
The two criteria we use for evaluating creative at my shop are 1) pride of ownership (by agency & client) and 2) results. By that measure, the spot scores with sales results but falters on its lack of…what -Class? Integrity?
I’m sure the agency and its clients love this commercial. Or, more to the point, they adore Beyonce. I can just imagine the creative team, and a drunken suit, backstage at her show in Hollywood. What’s not to like, right? Well, for starters, this commercial. It’s stupid. Or should I say, in the parlance of hip-hop: stoopid.
Writing copy for God. Why not repurpose an existing campaign?
December 5, 2008
Believe in something better or burn forever!
“Believe in something better,” exhorts the US Cellular campaign from Publicis & Hal Riney. My former colleague and good friend, Jamie King currently works at the agency, so this post is not meant as a critique good or bad. Yet, it got me thinking.
In my new novel, The Happy Soul Industry God hires an ad agency to market Heaven. The fictional agency comes up with a pretty good campaign, which I won’t get into here. (Read the book!) It dawns on me, however, that the US Cellular copy would do nicely as well!
Heaven. Believe in something better.
Not bad, right? One could argue it serves Heaven better than a phone company!
Come to think of it, a lot of tag lines seem like they could serve a “higher purpose” than the ones they were designed for. Off the top of my head I thought of the following:
Just do it. The most famous tag line can be in Heaven as it is on Earth. The pronoun “it” becomes even riper. Does it mean praying, sharing, doing the next right thing? God only knows.
It’s the Real Thing. Coke’s classic mantra feels cool again when discussing the unknown. Could Heaven be real? Of course it is!
Think Different. Time to stop thinking about only yourself for a change! If you’re an atheist, agnostic or just plain cynical, here’s a phrase to get you right sized again.
I’m Loving it! Oh my God does this ever work. Super size my soul, brother! Eternal life. Do you want fries with that?
Share the Good. Are you kidding me? This one is perfect. Heineken currently beseeches beer drinkers to share the good. Maybe they need a higher power instead. Hello AA.
Responsibility. What’s your policy? This ode to right thinking by Liberty Mutual lines up nicely with Heaven. The creative itself is pretty darn holy. You could run it as is, only changing the logo.
Crazy, eh? Look how many brands advertise as if they were selling God or Heaven or, at any rate, something pretty darn special. In fact, the long running “God Speaks” campaign actually pretends to be the voice of God.
Can you think of other secular advertising that would translate heavenly? Post them here.
On this blog, and in The Happy Soul Industry, I explore the relationship between good and evil in advertising. These campaigns are provocative evidence that it is a very relevant topic.
