Society’s downfall? Nah, it’s just advertising.

Pondering the 2008 Gold Clio award winners, I am struck by a print campaign for MTV from Y&R, Buenos Ares. Each simple spread features two black and white photographs -a distinguished historical figure on one side and a celebrity from our time on the other. A line of copy informs who the famous old-timer is (Alexander Graham Bell for example) and what he has accomplished, inventing the telephone. No mention whatever is made of the celebrity on the right. In this execution it’s the Latino Pop Star Ricky Martin.

And this, presumably, is the genius of the campaign. Mr. Martin is so well known because Music Television has made him this way. He needs no introduction; his face is recognizable to all. Other celebs receiving this ultimate compliment are Britney Spears and the creepy goth-rocker, Manson. To their left are brilliant people but they are dull and require words to explain them.

I get it. It’s not “what you know” (inventing the telephone) but “who you know” (MTV). Image trumps substance. It’s funny because it’s true.

I realize MTV is the exact opposite of the History Channel. MTV is a cable channel utterly devoted to pop culture. Even musical talent plays second fiddle to big boobs and fancy haircuts. That is MTV’s reality. What gave me pause is how unabashed MTV is in claiming responsibility for this completely accurate assessment. MTV is proud to have so totally dumbed down our culture.

Y&R’s campaign is provocative. It’s a brilliant concept dramatizing MTV’s purposefully un-brilliant one. Of this I can provide no argument. And that’s what troubles me. Because just below the shiny surface are frightening implications: that “we” are all so vapid as to cheer inanity over accomplishment. To hell with earned fame, these ads say. Jump in the hot tub. Let’s get wet!

Yeah, I know; it’s only a joke. Unfortunately, it’s funny because it’s true.

Cabot “Tidal Wave” hits United States!

For those of you who haven’t been “hit” by the Cabot Tidal Wave, here it is. As its author and creative director, I had a lot invested in this film. One of the reasons I blogged about it from South Africa. Thankfully, it turned out pretty well. Special thanks to director Marc Wilkins and Paranoid films. And of course kudos to our client, Cabot and Valspar. To a man, they are among the best I’ve ever worked with. We are lucky to have them.

So you want to be a rock star creative?

Droga. Bono. Bogusky. Bon Jovi. Close enough for Rock & Roll?

A long time ago, while on production in LA, I had a free weekend and so spent it at the hotel pool. I had my book, a pile of magazines and a smoothie from the bar. This is the life, I thought to myself.

My reverie was soon interrupted, however, by the presence of another creative from my agency and his comely companion. That’s not his wife, I thought, as the conspicuous pair made their way poolside. The creative director stopped by my chaise and I could not help but notice his garb: kimono, Ray-Bans, leather sandals, ironic Asian tee shirt. Not to mention the babe. She was actually carrying his bag!

The girl barely acknowledged me, but he was compelled to catch me up on his global escapades and rigorous production schedule. They’d just shot in Paris and were editing in LA. Then it was back to Japan. Leaning over me, he whispered of the blonde: “That’s my assistant. She arranges everything. And she screws me at night.”

Excuse me?

This guy worked for the same company I did (albeit overseas) doing essentially the same thing I did, but he was leading a completely different life than me. And it was clearly a more fantastic one. A hot assistant who does him and his books! Suddenly my day off at the pool seemed fairly pedestrian.

In many parts of the world, especially Latin America, being a creative director is like being a rock star. Successful creative directors regularly find themselves on TV accepting awards, offering opinions, hugging starlets. They are celebrities.

When I attended my first festival at Cannes, I met several rock star creative directors. Or should I say, I breathed the same air they did. Other than brief, insincere conversations, I basically watched as their various entourages brushed past me. One had a panel at the Palais. Another was late for a poolside press luncheon. Maybe they would catch me later at the Carlton…Yeah, right.

I am repulsed and I am envious. A man does a 30-second film about salad dressing and he’s on Brazil’s version of Entertainment Tonight? W…T…F?

Sad but true. Indeed, the welcoming film for last week’s Portfolio Night at DDB beckoned a new generation of creative people to “become famous…become rock stars!” They were not being glib.

I won’t name the earlier-mentioned creative director. instead, let’s talk about a couple creative rock stars closer to home: Alex Bogusky and David Droga. Both men look the part (see above photos) and certainly have had their share of “hits.” The press swoons over them. They are on magazine covers. They are even in other people’s ads! Advertising savants? Maybe. God’s gift to culture? I doubt it. Still, there is something undeniably alluring about receiving that kind of attention. Adoration is damn hard to come by in real life. If by making ads one can acquire press, power and prestige then, wow, I want in.

Wait a minute; I am in! I have the job. Won some prizes. Travel a lot. But do I lead the rock star life? Not so much. Do I want the rock star life? Um…Picture Homer Simpson drooling.

I think at some point every creative person fantasizes about being that guy in the kimono. (Maybe not the kimono but you know what I mean.) We are in a very ego-driven business. Our ideas are worth money. Our ideas can become “hits.” We become “hit-makers.” Doors open. Salaries go up. And then…

And then we realize it’s only advertising. At least I hope we do. I can remember otherwise, the wanting… and the wondering: Why not me? Let me tell you from experience, those aren’t good feelings to have. They tend to push you more into your ego, unleashing character defects. It becomes less about doing a good job and more about getting. And while you might get if the getting is good, eventually you fail. And the fall can be like the 4th act in a VH1 expose’.

Case in point my buddy from the pool. Last I checked he’d been let go and was suing his former employer for damages. Damages, mostly, to his ego.

Dreaming in Ads. What would Freud say?

Do you ever have dreams about advertising? Of course not. That would be lame. But given the pervasive nature of advertising I wonder why, sometimes, we don’t.

Like a lot of boys I dreamed I could fly. In these dreams I was Superman or, to be honest, a hybrid mutant more akin to the X-men. Usually I used my power to avoid or thwart a real-life nemesis of mine, some schoolyard bully. As I got older movies became dominant influences in my dreams. Zombies chasing me, their putrid arms just out of reach. Vampires. And, better still, Vampire women! God bless Hammer studios.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. This is about advertising in dreams. Or, more to the point, why isn’t advertising in our dreams? For example, How come Tony the Tiger never turns up in Z-land? Or, God forbid, Bill Shatner? I’m surprised Burger King hasn’t infiltrated my psyche. A horrific and comedic entity, the King is Felliniesque if ever there was such a thing. Perfect fodder for dreams.

Given how much these characters and images bombard us, you’d think they’d have found their way into our subconscious. “We interrupt this dream to bring you the following paid announcement…”

Considering I make ads for a living it seems odd I don’t recall having had a single dream about any aspect of the creative process: writing ads, selling ads, producing ads, or the ads themselves. Never ever.

Maybe the commercialization of our society is so overt and rampant that our sleeping minds crave alternatives.

According to Freud, dreams are an outlet for something we repress during our waking life. It is common for the recovering alcoholic to have “drinking dreams.” Teen-agers have wet dreams because they aren’t “getting any” in real life. And so on.

In a reversed out, bizarre-o way, maybe commercials and the like are dreams manufactured for awake-time. “We make you want what you don’t need,” reads this blog’s masthead. Advertisers are able to create desire by creating 30-second dreams.

Of course I’m kidding. Sex in the ice cubes was only a myth. Yet, I have been dreaming about that new Audi…

(Props to TF for inspiring this post)

Portfolio Night at DDB. So, you want to be in creative?

I just returned from my stint at Portfolio Night –the 6^th annual meet and critique for advertising students set up by IHaveAnIdea. In a format not unlike speed dating, old “pros” like myself review aspiring creative persons and their books, one after another, for about three hours. The event takes place every year in various cities around the world. For the second year in a row DDB served as host in Chicago.

First: Kudos to DDB.

Hosting Portfolio Night is a costly, time-consuming distraction for a busy ad agency -especially one that has weathered such difficult times. As with a lot of Chicago agencies, business has not been booming. More devastatingly, just months ago, DDB’s Chief Creative Officer, Paul Tilley committed suicide. Last year, that same man stood before a similar group welcoming us to Portfolio Night.

How easy it would have been for DDB to beg off. Justifiable too. But the show must go on. In the end it was affirming seeing all these young faces, their lives still in front of them. Yes, one creative light had gone out. But now countless others were looking for a spark.

Unfortunate then, the mean-spiritedness I discovered online. One blogger deemed Portfolio Night an excuse for leering, lechery and drinking. Not true. Not fair. Not good. If any cynics were present, DDB’s Worldwide Chief Creative Officer, Bob Scarpelli offered simple marching orders. In a video address, he asked we professionals to remember who’d helped us when we were green and vulnerable.

On a more professional note, I have to comment on the work. Not so much on the quality (a mixed bag) but on the content itself. Of the eight people I reviewed, I saw virtually no integrated campaigns. Just about every portfolio consisted of posters and print ads. One or two had a banner ad or a piece of guerrilla work. But I saw no DM, promotional work or interactive materials. None. Where were the tricked out microsites and new media? Where was the “branded content” and multimedia designs? Hell, where was the TV?

2008 and these were the newest generation of adults -the so-called “millennials.”  Yet, in some cases, I might as well have been looking at turn-of-the-century circus posters! Now I happen to love print and posters. But I’m old school. For me, that’s familiar media. That’s what my spec book looked like. Indeed, I dug into these beginners with gusto: This is a good headline. Did you try putting the product here? And so on…

It wasn’t until the cab ride home I realized how old-fashioned their books were. Made me smile. If, according to just about everyone, the advertising business is in the midst of a sea change then why wasn’t it evident in any of the books I looked at? It’s easy (though often incorrect) to point at big agencies and say we don’t get it. What about the Facebook generation? If they don’t get it, who does?

 

 

Selling retirement: “And that’s all folks!”

Recently, we pitched the account of a leading builder and developer of high-end retirement communities. We did not advance very far –a mixed blessing- but I got a glimpse at what few of us know, or care to know about: the beginning of our end.

It is widely believed that no other creature is aware of its mortality save Man. Even so, we don’t have many bright ideas on how to do “it.” For all its inevitability, dying does not come naturally to us. On the contrary, I believe as a nation we are all in some form of denial.  Any reminder of our passing and we turn tail and run. We avoid talk of convalescent homes -for our loved ones, and for ourselves.

The last act is seldom advertised. We see images of golf and gardening. But they are fuzzy, dated feeling. We sense reality is making puzzles, the occasional bus ride to a casino, and TV…endless hours of watching TV. And we do not want to go out that way.

The retirement community we toured claimed the very best in late life living. It had CONVENIENCE. It had RECREATION. It had SAFETY. Our guide likened the community to an idealized small town, where the doctor knew you by first name, there were never any lines at the bank, and the pool was always 80 degrees. But despite these trappings there was the unmistakable element of dread, kind of like being in a church basement or hospital. More than a keen observation, this is a confirmation of the problem, our refusal to accept the end for what it is: a great slowing down preceding collapse.

That the client wanted a better image for its brand goes without saying! I thought likening the whole experience to being on “campus” might prove invigorating. A safe but stimulating environment where people grew instead of withered. Certainly an improvement on the antiquated “Mayberry” vibe they were currently touting.

Most of us fear Death. But the step before it is just as grim: Irrelevance. Move into a retirement community and you might as well just check your relevance at the front desk with Dorothy. “You won’t be needing that here!”

As I said, we did not advance in our discussions.

Whatever. I’m sure I’ll see the dross they chose one night trolling cable. Old men on golf carts. Widows bobbing in the water. Lectures in the chapel. They’ll need 30 minutes at least to capture all this info in a ‘mercial.

In a way, I’m glad we didn’t prevail in our pitch. Winning this business would have been the kiss of death.